I’m here to suggest that it’s perfectly ok to be ridiculous about nothing.

You have my express, written permission to be peculiar.

All the little peccadillos that you shamefully hide or meekly defend may now see the light of day, unfettered by the cruel derision of better adjusted friends and colleagues.

From this day forward, you shall no longer harbor guilt or feel embarrassed by odd personal habits or actions that others dismiss, mock or disparage.

In so stating, I do hereby decree that on this day, you are absolved of all judgment for behaviors that others find preposterous, including (but not limited to):

• Not getting to sleep because you can’t stop thinking about the pickle jar that you should have wiped down before putting back in the fridge.
• Getting sweaty palms because the show starts in two hours, and you haven’t left yet (even though it’s a 15-minute drive).
• Leaving home for a trip, then returning to make sure you locked the garage door, then spending the rest of the day wondering whether you actually did that or not.
• Making plans for next week that you are incredibly excited about, only to have the next week find you neck-deep in incredibly creative manufactured excuses to get the hell out of those godforsaken plans.
• Losing your ever-loving mind when you find that, upon sitting down at your desk, your pens are now facing different directions than they were when you last sat there.
• Realizing that a friend’s vinyl record collection is not in alphabetical order and questioning the nature of all humanity as you scramble to make sense of it.

Many of us are vexed by quirky behaviors which we can neither explain nor cease, and the whole process of keeping them (mostly) under wraps can be exhausting.

Once called out, trying to delicately maneuver between changing the subject and minimizing their discovery can be flat-out grueling.

Here is an example of having a peculiar behavior discovered and called out from a discussion I had with Adam Timm not long after coming on board with The Healthy Dispatcher:

(Note: If you engage in peculiar behavior yourself, be warned — the contents are disturbing).

Adam: “Hey, you don’t need to go to the airport two hours before your flight, it isn’t necessary.”

Me: “Haha, well, haha, I, uhh . . .”

Adam: “Seriously, don’t do that, it’s a waste of time.”

Me: “Well, yes, haha, but I like to get there a little early is all . . .”

Adam: “Well, that’s a waste of time.”

Me: “Hey, do you like horses?”

I can neither adequately elucidate nor discontinue my urgent need to be at the airport criminally early. I just know on a molecular level that I need to, and I can’t make it make sense.

For those of us who dwell in the weird behavioral space, it isn’t even the behaviors or actions themselves that get us worked up – it’s the constant feeling that we’re somehow doing something wrong by engaging in them.

And that’s where I come in.

Do you need to sneak into your friend’s kitchen to get that solitary spoon out of the fork row in the silverware drawer that you caught a glimpse of and cannot shake?

Do it, full throttle.

Do you need to detour to the gas station to check your tire air pressure for the 14^th time this week, even though there has been no indication that you have a low tire?

Make haste, with aplomb.

Do you need to show up early to get up toward the front of the line for a show, even though your seat is pre-assigned and your place in line doesn’t benefit you in any way?

Go like the wind and stand proud.

So long as these odd behaviors pose no harm to anyone else, it’s time to lean into them, claim them as our own and give them the public christening that they so richly deserve.

“IF I DON’T KNOW FOR CERTAIN THAT MY SHOES ARE PERFECTLY LINED UP IN THE CLOSET, I CAN’T SIT DOWN AND WATCH A TV SHOW!”

That was incredibly freeing.

I’ll give you a second to shout out one of yours.

( . . .)

Wasn’t that nice?

Now.

It’s time for us to band together, collection of misfit toys that we are, and thumb our noses at those who would label us as somehow deficient or in need of correction.

From heretofore, the peculiar shall persevere, free of scorn and awash in our weirdness!

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to go make sure the spare room carpet fibers are all pointing in the same direction.

About Kris Inman:

Kris Inman is the Director of Program Development for The Healthy Dispatcher. A 30-year veteran of 9-1-1, Kris retired in July 2023 as Director of Springfield Greene County 9-1-1 in Springfield, MO. An awarded speaker and instructor, Kris has delivered standout educational sessions, keynotes, motivational talks and yoga instruction to dispatchers across the country. He is also a long-time college adjunct instructor, teaching courses in communication and public safety leadership. Kris holds a Master of Arts in Communication and a Bachelor of Science in Electronic Media from Missouri State University. He is also a registered yoga instructor.